To the Girl Who Puts Herself Last

She has never asked for much to begin with. She has always been grateful for what she has, and hates to inconvenience anyone. And she has been this way for as long as she can remember.

But something has changed.

Something has made her question the way she lives. She wants to live for herself — she wants to make decisions that make her happy; decisions that focus on her. But she feels bad. She feels guilty. And she puts herself last. Every. Time.

This is the the girl who is more concerned about others than herself. Someone close to her once told her that she carries the burdens of others because it’s far easier to struggle on her own than to ask someone to share it. They weren’t wrong.

She helps others and will never ask for too much. Inconveniencing someone is almost as scary as relying on someone.

But here’s a truth that may be hard to swallow — choosing yourself shouldn’t burden anyone. And asking for something that improves upon your own happiness is not an inconvenience. Rather, not doing something for your own happiness is. Going out of your way to support others is inconveniencing you. The only reason why you don’t notice is because you enjoy doing it. You generally like helping people, especially those whom you are close to. But that doesn’t mean you should put yourself last.

You have to change your mindset. You have to recognize the importance of your own happiness and how best to achieve it. And the first step is sharing burdens and recognizing that the only person you are inconveniencing is yourself.

Yeah, it may seem like asking someone for help is inconveniencing them. And yeah, its easier to take care of things on your own. But imagine how much happier you’ll be when you are not silently sighing that no one has voluntarily stepped forward to help you. Imagine the lack of stress you’ll have when you have more time to focus on yourself. When you rely on others and they now know that you trust them enough to lean on them.

Putting yourself last seems like the noble thing to do. But it’s not. All that is happening is you are neglecting yourself and your happiness. Instead of focusing on yourself, you focus on what others need and how to make life easier from them. But don’t do that.

For once in your life — put yourself first. Recognize the importance of this act. The importance of letting go, trusting others – sharing the burden, and not letting guilt consume you.

Your happiness matters, and it should never take the back burner.

So put yourself first, because the only person you’re inconveniencing is yourself.

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The light within me humbly the light that shines within you.

– MM

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A quarter century year old Millennial. This is a lifestyle blog for all of her life decisions, documenting the things she does. Like any normal person she tries, succeeds, and often times fails at things. Follow her on a journey of life's mishaps, adventures, and mediocrity.

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